Relationships stress me out. And I’m not even in one. But many of my friends are, and their relationships REALLY stress me out. They’re so overwhelming at times. They like each other, then they hate each other. They complain about each other, then they can’t take their hands off each other. They’re like children. And I don’t like children.
I know for a fact my food will never complain, that’s why I’m in a relationship with it. I take good care of my food and it takes good care of me. We have a very understanding and healthy relationship. I may seem weird and kind of like a leper with the amount of time I spend in the house, in my kitchen, on a Friday night, but I’m sure as hell not fighting with my food at the bar, while others stare on with drunken eyes. I hate drunken people fights. I love watching them. Car wreck in human form.
The moral to this story is – annoying relationships suck. So get out of them if you are one of the people that fills their friends ears with complaints about their significant other. We don’t care. Your significant other obviously doesn’t care. So you shouldn’t care. And you should find yourself a new partner. Meaning paleo food. Like this recipe. Why wouldn’t you make CARAMEL BARS your new lover? I’ve done it twice now. Two times. Two times a lady, if you will.
Chocolate Coffee Caramel Bars
- Yield: 3-4 1x
Ingredients
For the crust
- 12 dried figs (or dates, if you prefer), stems removed
- 1/2 cup almond butter
- 1/4 cup Unsweetended Shredded Coconut
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- pinch of salt
For the caramel
- 12–14 medjool dates, pitted and soaked in water for an hour
- 5–6 tablespoons canned coconut milk
- 3 tablespoons water
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
For the topping
- 1 cup Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate, melted
- 1/4 cup canned coconut milk
- 2 teaspoons ground coffee
- coarse sea salt, to top
Instructions
- First make your crust. Add all of your crust ingredients into a food processor and mix until well combined. Add the crust mixture to abread pan and push down until the mixture is flat. Like a crust. Duh.
- Now add your dates and pulse until dates have broken down (less than a minute) then add your coconut milk tablespoon by tablespoon to the dates while the food processor is still running. Then add your water as well.
- And add your vanilla extract and pinch of salt.
- Process until you get a caramel. BOOM. May take 3-5 minutes, tops.
- Pour caramel over your crust and spread evenly.
- Now you will want to melt your chocolate. You could do this in a double boiler or just the microwave. I chose the latter.
- Melt chocolate and coconut milk together in the microwave. Heating for 30 seconds then mixing well and reheating when necessary.
- Once your chocolate is completely melted, add your ground coffee and mix well.
- Pour melted chocolate over your caramel and spread evenly.
- Add coarse sea salt on top of the chocolate.
- Put in freezer to let chocolate harden. Around 10+ minutes.
- Eat!!
____________
More Layered Ideas For Ya:
Chocolate “Peanut Butter” Cookie Bars
Holiday Raspberry Caramel Tart
________________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!
Can’t wait to make these bars. Can you tell me what size bread pan I need? Thanks!
9×5 should work!
I might have to forward this post to both of my roommates…. you described my life verbatim listening to the two of them haha. I try to care, but often times I just can’t!
Do it Katie, do it
Holy crap! Juli, you have outdone yourself with this one. And that’s saying a lot, since the food you create is amazing! How in the world did you come up with the idea to create caramel with dates?!!? Cannot wait to try them.
I saw something like it on a vegan website and tried a different version out!!
YES. I literally said this morning, “I need to make some Paleo sweets this week.” And, boom. There it is. On tap for the game tonight…
Side note: pretty sure I saw you at Wash Park this weekend – totally creepy, I know, but I noticed a girl wearing a PaleOMG tank and then someone with her that resembled you… however since we are not friends and have never met, I can’t confirm or deny this. Ok, creeper mode off.
Thanks for the killer recipes. Love them all.
Cheers
Hahahaha that’s so funny Maggie!! That was definitely me and my roommate! Reppin PaleOMG everywhere, gotta love her! You totally should have said hi!! That would have been awesome!! Hope you like the bars!
MONSTER hit. Brought the leftovers to my office today as well and have many folks asking for the recipe, so hopefully some new followers are coming your way… muchas gracias mi amiga!
Thanks so much!!
Oooh, these look beyond delish! Now I’m debating whether I should make these or the caramel pecan bars this weekend.. decisions, decisions. As for relationships, they can definitely suck. Been there in the bad relationship, where you make everyone else uncomfy cuz your partner is a dick and you can’t take them anywhere. I’m sure my friends were sick of hearing about his a**hole moves, but now I think they’re sick of hearing about how awesome my current bf is LoL. It is somewhat a lose-lose for friends to hear about relationships, but hearing happy > sad/miserable every time!
Thanks for even more awesomeness Juli! Btw.. I do have that awesome hot friend you should meet 😉
Yeah friends just don’t like listening to that stuff. Fact.
OMG these look scrumptious! You rocked on this recipe and I’m so impressed with the ingredients. Do believe this will be a favorite with my 4 year old! Thank you for such a great creation,have an awesome day. 🙂
Thanks so much Jacquie!!
The caramel pecan bars were amazing so these look insanely amazing! My husband, daughter and I fought over the last caramel pecan bar so maybe I’ll just make these and hide them so I don’t have to share 😉
You gotta try these ones out with the fam Jenn!
Thanks for asnwering my question regarding the pan….another question, can lite coconut mile be used?
oops, can lite coconut mile be used?
I’m sure that would still work!
Omgahhhh, you always post the most amazing dessert recipes EVER right when I start Whole 30…frick, I love caramel, dude. & COFFEE. & CHOCOLATE! Today is Day 1….fml.
Rant over. 🙂 Can’t freakin’ wait to make these!
Lol thw whole30 is rough, good luck!!!