I’m declaring Mondays as dessert days. Because I can. And want to.
Wanna know something. I didn’t even come up with this recipe title. A guy named Kyle did. He saw one of the pictures I posted on my @paleomg instagram of this delicious recipe and named it. He’s a genius. And an awesome follower. Thanks Kyle for trying my recipes often and taking great pictures of them to share with the instagram world!
Ok I need to vent. I literally cannot remember the last time I went shopping…and didn’t cry. Every single freaking time, I cry. If that’s not some bullsh*t right there, I don’t know what is. It’s just ridiculous. I work my god damn ass off in the gym, I eat pretty god damn healthy, and for what? For more god damn cellulite to show? Ughhhhh. I swear, when I was skinny and weak and jello-y, I had a lot less cellulite. But now that muscle is actually growing, muscle that I never knew I even had, my cellulite is being pushed to the surface making it look like I haven’t worked out a day in my life. I’m pissed people. Like real pissed. I don’t think there is anything in this world that I hate more than cellulite. Oh wait, people who don’t cellulite. I hate those people. Sorry for not being sorry.
Ok, let’s take a deep breath. I’m sorry for being an emotional assh*le. And I’m sorry for saying god a lot of times. My mother will be disappointed. Especially with how I worded that last sentence. Either way, I still hate you people without cellulite. Plain and simple.
Speaking of people with no cellulite, I had a partner competition with my friend Krystle this weekend. She has no cellulite, and the shortest shorts in the world. If anyone in this world can pull off stupid short shorts, it’s her. I have really good looking friends in the first place, but she may take the cake. She has a six pack, big boobs, and a great butt. It’s just bullsh*t. Thankfully I like her so I don’t talk sh*t about how perfect she is. Other than over the internet.
Anywho, she did awesome! It was her first competition and I couldn’t have been more proud to call her my competition partner. She pushed hard, she gave it her all, and she smiled through the whole thing. It was awesome to see. And the best thing is she is all signed up for an individual competition next month which will be super cool to watch. She’s just great. Watch us go!
Krystle, you’re the best. Thanks for letting me be part of your first competition. Can’t wait to see how strong you get in the next year.
Coconut Klondike Bites
- Yield: 10-12 1x
Ingredients
- 1.5 cups unsweetened shredded coconut
- 1/2 cup coconut butter or homemade coconut butter
- 1/2 cup coconut oil
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
- 1 bag (10oz) of Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips or dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Place shredded coconut, coconut cream concentrate, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt into a food processor and blend until you get a slightly chunky texture.
- Place silicone liners into your muffin tin. If you don’t have silicone liners, use regular paper muffin liners.
- Use a large spoon to scoop out about 2 tablespoons worth of coconut mixture and place into your muffin tins. Press down until flat.
- Once all your muffins liners are filled, melt your chocolate.
- Either place chocolate into a bowl and into the microwave to heat for 30 seconds, then stir, and repeat until chocolate is melted but not burnt. OR use a double boiler to melt down your chocolate. Microwave is easier for lazy people, like yours truly.
- Use a spoon once again to scoop out about 1 tablespoon of chocolate and pour onto your coconut cups until the coconut is completely covered. Repeat on all your coconut cups.
- Place in freezer for about 20 minutes or until chocolate is frozen.
- These will be very hard so you may need to let one sit for a couple minutes at room temperature before biting in. Or break your tooth. Whatever suits your fancy.
- Keep in fridge or freezer to help with chocolate melting.
- Eat and be merry.
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Once again Julie, another great recipe. You are so hilarious and I really enjoy your blog. Keep up the great sense of humour.
Kathy S
I made these last night… really good. At least you know there’s muscle under your cellulite – mine just looks like hail damage. = )
I will take your cellulite for a fraction of your well-toned abs!
BTW – your blueberry muffins are to die for!
You know, I thought I was losing my mind about the cellulite. I’m glad this is a real thing with other fit women and not my imagination (not glad that you have cellulite, of course). The more muscular my legs have become, the more I have noticed the cellulite, to the point of me wondering why I invest so much time in CrossFit.
Anyway, love your recipes!!
So so so incredibly sad that I can’t eat coconut! These look so tasty! I may have to come up with some sort of alternative flavoring just because these look so wonderful and anything frozen right now sounds fabulous! Hmm… decisions decisions…
Oh my god, Juli. These are RODONKADONK!
I have to try these!
Hey Juls,
Oey, this topic sucks. I’m going through the SAME thing!.. Well I have my whole life. Damn genetics and all twinkies and ho ho’s my parents used to feed me when I was little and the cokes and booze I washed them down with in college. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of the chubby cellulite pits ~ even after living the cfit lifestyle for almost 2.5 years. Now, I’ve bummed my shoulder up and am having to do lots of leg stuff to keep going. AND IT’S GETTING WORSE! Barf! db Barf! However, it’s good to hear we’re not alone! And there are some crazy hocus pocus potion tips in the comments. LOL.
I used running to get cardiovascularly fit over the last few years (just finished my first marathon), but it took CrossFit to give me body confidence. Compared to you I’m a weak-ass fatty, but I’m stronger now after 6 weeks than I was for years before. I’ve learned to face my fears (handstands! ropes! box jumps! pull-ups!) and that failure is just a means to find the next goal. You are awesome and funny and fabulous. I hope you can see yourself that way! We all do!
This recipe is totally boss, and it turned out great (can’t believe they had those chocolate chips at my podunk grocery!). I don’t crave chocolate much anymore, but it’s nice to have a fun treat every now and then. Next time, though, I’ll make them in the mini muffin tin (the big ones are just tooooooo big).
We are asking for help…. We’ve developed a tasty Paleo drink, which is refreshingly organic. We wanted to not only create a new product, but a new lifestyle. We concluded it’s time to “rethink” vitamins. 100% Natural we combined mangosteen, acai, pomegranate, banana, pear with baobab. We gave it the name “VitaV”. Check our our Pre-Launch site http://www.VitaV.org
These are DISGUSTING!!!! I HATE coconut!!!
JK
These are insanely good….. and I do love coconut. Hince why I made them. Mine aren’t nearly as pretty as yours but they go down the same. 😉