I’m declaring Mondays as dessert days. Because I can. And want to.

Wanna know something. I didn’t even come up with this recipe title. A guy named Kyle did. He saw one of the pictures I posted on my @paleomg instagram of this delicious recipe and named it. He’s a genius. And an awesome follower. Thanks Kyle for trying my recipes often and taking great pictures of them to share with the instagram world!

Ok I need to vent. I literally cannot remember the last time I went shopping…and didn’t cry. Every single freaking time, I cry. If that’s not some bullsh*t right there, I don’t know what is. It’s just ridiculous. I work my god damn ass off in the gym, I eat pretty god damn healthy, and for what? For more god damn cellulite to show? Ughhhhh. I swear, when I was skinny and weak and jello-y, I had a lot less cellulite. But now that muscle is actually growing, muscle that I never knew I even had, my cellulite is being pushed to the surface making it look like I haven’t worked out a day in my life. I’m pissed people. Like real pissed. I don’t think there is anything in this world that I hate more than cellulite. Oh wait, people who don’t cellulite. I hate those people. Sorry for not being sorry.

Ok, let’s take a deep breath. I’m sorry for being an emotional assh*le. And I’m sorry for saying god a lot of times. My mother will be disappointed. Especially with how I worded that last sentence. Either way, I still hate you people without cellulite. Plain and simple.

Speaking of people with no cellulite, I had a partner competition with my friend Krystle this weekend. She has no cellulite, and the shortest shorts in the world. If anyone in this world can pull off stupid short shorts, it’s her. I have really good looking friends in the first place, but she may take the cake. She has a six pack, big boobs, and a great butt. It’s just bullsh*t. Thankfully I like her so I don’t talk sh*t about how perfect she is. Other than over the internet.

Anywho, she did awesome! It was her first competition and I couldn’t have been more proud to call her my competition partner. She pushed hard, she gave it her all, and she smiled through the whole thing. It was awesome to see. And the best thing is she is all signed up for an individual competition next month which will be super cool to watch. She’s just great. Watch us go!

Krystle, you’re the best. Thanks for letting me be part of your first competition. Can’t wait to see how strong you get in the next year.

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Coconut Klondike Bites

5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star

4.8 from 33 reviews

  • Yield: 10-12 1x

Ingredients

Scale

Instructions

  1. Place shredded coconut, coconut cream concentrate, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt into a food processor and blend until you get a slightly chunky texture.
  2. Place silicone liners into your muffin tin. If you don’t have silicone liners, use regular paper muffin liners.
  3. Use a large spoon to scoop out about 2 tablespoons worth of coconut mixture and place into your muffin tins. Press down until flat.
  4. Once all your muffins liners are filled, melt your chocolate.
  5. Either place chocolate into a bowl and into the microwave to heat for 30 seconds, then stir, and repeat until chocolate is melted but not burnt. OR use a double boiler to melt down your chocolate. Microwave is easier for lazy people, like yours truly.
  6. Use a spoon once again to scoop out about 1 tablespoon of chocolate and pour onto your coconut cups until the coconut is completely covered. Repeat on all your coconut cups.
  7. Place in freezer for about 20 minutes or until chocolate is frozen.
  8. These will be very hard so you may need to let one sit for a couple minutes at room temperature before biting in. Or break your tooth. Whatever suits your fancy.
  9. Keep in fridge or freezer to help with chocolate melting.
  10. Eat and be merry.

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PaleOMG Coconut Klondike Bites

oops…i kinda ate it. don’t worry. i didn’t break a tooth.

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123 Comments

  1. Sarah says:

    I did the 1/2 almond extract and 1/2 vanilla and used the mini-muffin tins. Note – if you do the mini-muffin tins, it’s a much more delicate process and means you must be more precise with your distribution of the chocolate and coconut, but you do get smaller portions so you can have a two bite treat if that’s what you want. I added more salt. Yum. I also added an almond on top of the chocolate. Made them look fancy. If I were to make it again (and I will), I would add more vanilla and almond extract. Another note – if you use mini-muffin liners if you want to eat them straight out of the freezer (that would be my husband), the wrapper is a bit tricky to get off. Best to wait a few and it will come off straightway.






  2. HBM says:

    (pale)OMG. Duuuuudddde. Just made these. Um, I seriously went to brush my teeth after I tasted one……

    Juli, you are gorgeous. Hugs to you.






  3. Nicole says:

    Peppermint Paddies. Just made these only I added peppermint oil (not extract) to the bottom layer. I recommend adding one drop at a time and then tasting it. You can easily add to much peppermint oil then it just becomes overwhelming.






  4. Melody says:

    I made these over the weekend. SO DELICIOUS. OH EM GEE. HOLY CRAP. WOW. OH MY. So good. Next time, I am adding some peppermint oil because that sounds AMAZING. I am making these for my cousin’s graduation party next Sunday, she and my uncle are Celiac.

    PS, YOU LOOK AMAZING. You are one gorgeous chick. I still don’t understand why you are single. Men suck, that’s it. They just suck. 😉






  5. Junie says:

    Delicious! I didn’t have any paper liners or cups so I spread it out over parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Used a bar of dark chocolate, and put some chopped cashews on top for good measure. Once frozen I chopped it up into pieces. Crazy good! Thanks!






  6. Melody says:

    PS, everyday is dessert day in my book! 😀

  7. Debbie says:

    These are amazing!!! Second batch I added a touch of peppermint extract and they were yummy 🙂

  8. Sheila says:

    These are sinfully delicious and addictive….just ask my husband, kids and any guest who walked through my house while I still had some in the fridge. Batch # 2 is already in progress. Seriously yummy stuff. Thanks for posting.






  9. Fifty Shades of Peach says:

    Just wanted to throw in a real-life testimonial. These were brought into my CrossFit gym last week. I snagged one, took it home and had it for dessert. SO GOOD. As a newbie CrossFitter, I’m loving your site. It’s a huge help and inspiration for my newfound love and diet. Thanks!






  10. pzsiros0357 says:

    I made these two nights ago and they are going fast. Hard, yes, right out of the freezer, but worth risking a tooth or two for.