So much stuff is going on, I haven’t had any time to cook. I’ve been eating beef, brussels sprouts, and hot sauce for almost every meal. And drinking wine far more often than needed. Like right now. It’s been fantastic.

Every Monday night is now girls night in my world because The Bachelor is on and it’s fascinating. About 5 or 6 of us host a girls night once a week, make food for everyone, and drink wine together. Then we make fun of women who cry on television. It’s awesome. I mean, I know I’m straight up crazy and confess it to the world wide web daily, but at least I’m not crying over a male. At least on tv. I cry all the time over guys. Ok, not all the time. But more than needed. Having a vagina is rough sometimes. It makes us emotional creatures. Some feminist is going to hate me for saying that. Don’t care. Stickin’ to it. #b*tchesbecraycray. I’m so annoying.

But I can’t talk about crying anymore. I’m too excited about my upcoming trips. Let’s talk about them.

  1. Going to Boston this week for some cooking classes and cooking videos with Again Faster.
  2. Going to Austin for the Paleo FX. I’m doing a cooking demo! Meaning I will be my awkward self, sweating in front of many people. I need to look for baggy shirts for that trip.
  3. And going to the Dominican Republic. With 2 other ladies. OMGfun. These girls are fun both drunk and sober, so it should be a reaaaaaal good time. I plan on not even leaving the resort. Drink in one hand, book in the other. What should I read?!

That’s all I have planned so far. I know one thing, I need to be more tan for all these places. I want to go other places too, though. I’m digging this travel thing. Too bad I don’t have paid time off. Or benefits. Or any of that stuff. Meh, whatevs. Live it while you’re young, right? #thingspeoplesaywhentheyarepoorlikeme.

I’ll stop hashtagging things.

So if you did not see my post on Monday, you have to. It was absolutely delicious. It was the first and only recipe I’ve made with a Sous Vide because she so fancy, and I loved it. I’ve never cooked meat that perfectly. But don’t worry, I won’t be making many recipes with that kitchen appliance since it’s not something most people have in their house! And I’m a simple cooker. I like meat and veggies in a pan. And chocolate mousse. I really like chocolate mousse.

Any who, I created that recipe Sous Vide Paleo Recipe Showdown. Along with 11 other paleo bloggers. They spelled my blog name wrong on the showdown page, but I’ll forgive them. Since most people spell Juli wrong as well, I’m desensitized to that frustration at this point. So, while judges are trying out our recipes and picking their favorite, YOU can pick your favorite as well. YES YOU CAN. Go vote. Let your vote be heard in the paleo, sous vide, tx bar organics community. Each person that votes will be entered into a contest to win a SousVide or TX Bar GC for $200! OMGcool. Two winners will be chosen – one for each! Click here to vote now {CLOSED}! Voting will end FEBRUARY 4th.

I want to die in this cake. Literally face plant into this cake, eat a bite, then suffocate. Because I would die happy. I wish I was kidding.

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Crockpot Fig Apple Butter

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4.9 from 9 reviews

Ingredients

Scale
  • 20 dried black figs, stems removed, cut in half
  • 6 apples, peeled, cored and diced
  • 1 cup apple cider
  • 1/2 cup honey (or other sweetener such as maple syrup)
  • 3 tablespoons cinnamon (sounds like a lot, because it is, and it’s awesome)
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • pinch of salt

Instructions

  1. Place all ingredients in the slow cooker. Mix well.
  2. Put the slow cooker at low and cook for 6-8 hours until apples are completely soft and almost mushy.
  3. Place ingredients (I did mine in two batches) in food processor or blender and puree until smooth.
  4. Eat with anything. A spoon, on some banana bread, on a banana. Possibilities are endless.
  5. Store in refrigerator in a jar. Because jars are cute.

Notes

Made 3 (8 ounce) jars for me.

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87 Comments

  1. Katrina says:

    I live in Austin and have been considering checking out Paleo FX. Do you think it’s worth checking out? I’m still new to Paleo and Crossfit

  2. Chelsea says:

    Book recommendations: Have you read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn? Twisted and terrific
    Any book written by Harlan Coben will be great- he’s my fave
    Is everyone hanging out without me? By Mindy Kaling is laugh out loud hilarious, as is Bossypants by Tina Fey
    Have fun on your trips!

  3. Shelley says:

    Juli,

    Read “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn. It is a freakin’ wild ride…

  4. Megan says:

    How convenient… I just bought a ton of figs today!!

  5. Barb says:

    Have been afraid of figs but will def try after gym challenge is over. For books, anything by Chelsea Handler. So wrong but makes me laugh out loud! Enjoy the trips!

  6. Shari says:

    Juli, I have been enjoying your blog for a while now. You have made my journey into Paleo so much easier and enjoyable! I love your recipes and your sharp wit! I live in Boston and hope you have an incredible time while you are visiting!

  7. Alyssa says:

    That looks delicious! Must make 🙂

  8. Deborah says:

    Juli, how do you get the apple butter to thicken? I tried to make some but it seemed like it took FOREVER for the water to cook out. I eventually took the mixture out of the crockpot and cooked it down in a pan on the stove. I followed the directions, but maybe I did something wrong?

  9. suzanne says:

    I made this fig butter after you posted! delish! also…i gave a mason jar full to a cute guy at my CF box…have you tried feeding the men in your life? your always expressing your sorrows about your lack of dating life…food is the way to a mans heart…just sayin….