Have you ever had a muscle cramp hurt so bad that you almost threw up? I have. In my inner thigh. Inner thigh cramps are by far the worst thing because the cramp creeps up to your crotch. And nobody wants a crotch cramp. Nobody.
Enough about crotch cramps, you perve. Onto serious matters. My credit card hates Pittsburgh. Seriously. Every time I come here, every store denies it. Even when I call the bank to say “Hey, stop freaking out and thinking I’m a thief who loves Pittsburgh”, it still doesn’t work. What’s up with that? Where my bank people at? Riddle me that, bank people.
Based on my statement above, I’m guessing you understand that I’m in Pittsburgh. If not, get with it bro! I’m working on a project out here! This is my second trip for this project and so far, it’s going awesome! This is by far the most exciting project I’ve ever worked on and I’m seriously giddy with happiness. Like, weirdly happy. I still can’t officially talk about the project, but believe me, you probably won’t be nearly as excited as I am. Or maybe you will! If that’s so, then I really like you. Anywho, yesterday was my first day of working on the project and the day went perfectly. I made pretty much the most adorbs street tacos of all time.
You guys, guess what? My little Jackson dog is kind of sick. Now don’t you freak out, he’s ok, but the poor guy has an upset stomach. So get this: the morning of my flight to Pittsburgh, I was awaken by Jackson vomitting. Not the greatest thing to wake up to, but things happen, vomit happens. So I didn’t think much of it, cleaned it up then curled up with him on the couch. Soon after, he started barking to go outside. His dad took him out and Jackson ran outside in a panic. Nobody wants to crap their pants inside in front of their humans. No one. This poor kid was in so much pain, I actually heard him scream from inside my apartment. Bloody murder scream. I will never get that sound out of my head, it was the most heartbreaking sound ever. So I headed off to Pittsburgh like a terrible dog mother while my boyfriend took him to the vet to get some x-rays. Turns out nothing was wrong with him. He just has a “sensitive butt”. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing he can’t eat apple since that was the only different thing he ate the day before. Poor guy. Look at him all curled up with his dad.
OMG dead from cuteness.
Are you upset that I talked about dog butts? Whatever. I saw way worse things talked about on instagram yesterday about human butts. Gross. Human butts are gross and should never be mentioned via instagram. Ever.
Yesterday I had a guy comment about how annoying I am. And white trash. I think he may be right. But he also did use the word “what’re” which isn’t actually a proper contraction. Shame. He could have really proved his manhood with such a rude comment if he had used proper grammar. The poor, dumb bastard.
Ooey Gooey Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bars
- Yield: 16 1x
Ingredients
- 3/4 cup pumpkin puree
- 1/2 cup butter or ghee or coconut oil, melted + extra for greasing dish
- 1 egg, whisked
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup almond flour
- 1/4 cup tapioca flour
- 1 cup coconut sugar
- 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
- 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Grease an 8×8 glass baking dish with ghee, coconut oil or butter.
- Mix all ingredient together in a large bowl until well combined.
- Pour mixture into baking dish.
- Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
- Let cool for 10 minutes before cutting and serving.
Notes
Makes 16 squares
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You May Also Like:
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cups
Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Chip Energy Balls
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I finally made these. I made the mistake of putting the coconut oil in the mixing bowl first so it was kind of solidified by the time I combined the ingredients. There were little coconut oil chunks but they still taste yummy! I’ll just have to try making them again I guess 🙂
Made this last weekend and they were delicious! I used Sugar In The Raw because I didn’t have coconut sugar, and cut it back to 2/3 cup because I don’t like stuff super-sweet. The entire pan was gone in under 10 minutes! We have another dinner party this upcoming weekend (different guests) so I’m making it again, ha ha.
Made these last night. I didnt have tapioca flour, so i just subbed just under 1 TBS of coconut flour and added an egg. I used half coconut oil and half Kerrygold butter. Also tossed in some pecans. Seriously, AMAZING. Soooooo effing good, I ate half the pan, alone.
These are amazing! Thanks for the recipe.
I don’t have tapioca flour, how much coconut flour should I use? Or can i just cut out that part completely and sub with more almond flour? Thanks!
Based on the reviews I doubled the recipe. Best.Decision.EVA.
There’s something about the way the corners and edges of the pan get really chewy. Amazing.
You are the best Juli, thanks for taking the time to come up with these wonderful recipes. I can’t wait to see what all the project work will be!
no you are the best! thanks for the great comment!
I made these to recipe and toothpick came out clean. Once they cooled they kinda got “wet”. Still good enough to eat and great with coffee but don’t know what I did wrong? Are yours very moist?
Yep they are definitely suppose to be moist, hence their name. You can set them in the fridge to get them less wet if you would like
I baked mine for 50 minutes. They were not dry at all and set up like cookie-bars. Try giving them some more time in the oven next time.
Holy crap!! These are AMAZING!!!
Thank you so much for this delicious recipe! I took them to a yoga event and everyone was asking where the recipe was from:) They were devoured quickly! Love your website and great recipes. Keep up the good work!!!
These look great! Can you use maple syrup instead of the coconut sugar though? If so, how much?