Have you ever had a muscle cramp hurt so bad that you almost threw up? I have. In my inner thigh. Inner thigh cramps are by far the worst thing because the cramp creeps up to your crotch. And nobody wants a crotch cramp. Nobody.
Enough about crotch cramps, you perve. Onto serious matters. My credit card hates Pittsburgh. Seriously. Every time I come here, every store denies it. Even when I call the bank to say “Hey, stop freaking out and thinking I’m a thief who loves Pittsburgh”, it still doesn’t work. What’s up with that? Where my bank people at? Riddle me that, bank people.
Based on my statement above, I’m guessing you understand that I’m in Pittsburgh. If not, get with it bro! I’m working on a project out here! This is my second trip for this project and so far, it’s going awesome! This is by far the most exciting project I’ve ever worked on and I’m seriously giddy with happiness. Like, weirdly happy. I still can’t officially talk about the project, but believe me, you probably won’t be nearly as excited as I am. Or maybe you will! If that’s so, then I really like you. Anywho, yesterday was my first day of working on the project and the day went perfectly. I made pretty much the most adorbs street tacos of all time.
You guys, guess what? My little Jackson dog is kind of sick. Now don’t you freak out, he’s ok, but the poor guy has an upset stomach. So get this: the morning of my flight to Pittsburgh, I was awaken by Jackson vomitting. Not the greatest thing to wake up to, but things happen, vomit happens. So I didn’t think much of it, cleaned it up then curled up with him on the couch. Soon after, he started barking to go outside. His dad took him out and Jackson ran outside in a panic. Nobody wants to crap their pants inside in front of their humans. No one. This poor kid was in so much pain, I actually heard him scream from inside my apartment. Bloody murder scream. I will never get that sound out of my head, it was the most heartbreaking sound ever. So I headed off to Pittsburgh like a terrible dog mother while my boyfriend took him to the vet to get some x-rays. Turns out nothing was wrong with him. He just has a “sensitive butt”. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing he can’t eat apple since that was the only different thing he ate the day before. Poor guy. Look at him all curled up with his dad.
OMG dead from cuteness.
Are you upset that I talked about dog butts? Whatever. I saw way worse things talked about on instagram yesterday about human butts. Gross. Human butts are gross and should never be mentioned via instagram. Ever.
Yesterday I had a guy comment about how annoying I am. And white trash. I think he may be right. But he also did use the word “what’re” which isn’t actually a proper contraction. Shame. He could have really proved his manhood with such a rude comment if he had used proper grammar. The poor, dumb bastard.
Ooey Gooey Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bars
- Yield: 16 1x
Ingredients
- 3/4 cup pumpkin puree
- 1/2 cup butter or ghee or coconut oil, melted + extra for greasing dish
- 1 egg, whisked
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup almond flour
- 1/4 cup tapioca flour
- 1 cup coconut sugar
- 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
- 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Grease an 8×8 glass baking dish with ghee, coconut oil or butter.
- Mix all ingredient together in a large bowl until well combined.
- Pour mixture into baking dish.
- Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
- Let cool for 10 minutes before cutting and serving.
Notes
Makes 16 squares
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You May Also Like:
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cups
Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Chip Energy Balls
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This was a really excellent recipe. I had to bake mine for about 50 minutes and used coconut oil for the fat in them. They came out wonderfully! They are especially good after chilling in the fridge for a while.
I’m a new on your site. Love your recipes and can’t wait to try them. I can’t believe someone like you was called ,white trash. That guy has some serious problems. It sure it a reflection on his character and certainly not yours. I will be making the ooey gooey bars this weekend. They look so delicious.
I just put another batch of these in the oven. I’ve made them twice in barely two weeks. They are absolutely delish and soooo easy to make. You rock Juli!
Welp, it’s been 2 days since I made the first batch. The second is in the oven now. My tip? Save yourself some time and double it. You’re gonna want more.
It was super easy and super tasty.
Wise words
I made these bars a couple of weeks ago, but gave most away to my collegefresh(person?) stepdaughter aka the fussiest/ unhealthiest eater on the damn plant. Pogos and chicken fingers are her daily meals. She and her roommates loved them. I did too,, so I want to make some more… But as it is the day after a snowy Halloween that kept most kids away, I knw I should avoid further temptation… SO so torn.
I just baked this and ohhhh…..Emma….geeee….! Friggin delicious!
I’ve made a few times and theyre to die for!
Each time I have reduced the amount of sugar.
First time, followed recipe, 2nd reduced to 1/2 cup sugar, then 1/3 cup, this time no sugar at all because the chocolate chips have enough. Theyre amazing any way you make them!!!
I made these and they are so good. I put them in the freezer and they remind me of another recipe of yours but I can’t think of which one exactly at this moment. So these are really good frozen and it helps to make them last longer.
You f’ing crack me up; please don’t ever stop doing what you do!!
These are amazing!!! I didn’t have pumpkin so I made with sweet potato the first couple times. Now I’m about to make with pumpkin. Love them! And my kids love them. And Juli – you’re amazing and hilarious! Love your blog and your recipes!