Have you ever had a muscle cramp hurt so bad that you almost threw up? I have. In my inner thigh. Inner thigh cramps are by far the worst thing because the cramp creeps up to your crotch. And nobody wants a crotch cramp. Nobody.
Enough about crotch cramps, you perve. Onto serious matters. My credit card hates Pittsburgh. Seriously. Every time I come here, every store denies it. Even when I call the bank to say “Hey, stop freaking out and thinking I’m a thief who loves Pittsburgh”, it still doesn’t work. What’s up with that? Where my bank people at? Riddle me that, bank people.
Based on my statement above, I’m guessing you understand that I’m in Pittsburgh. If not, get with it bro! I’m working on a project out here! This is my second trip for this project and so far, it’s going awesome! This is by far the most exciting project I’ve ever worked on and I’m seriously giddy with happiness. Like, weirdly happy. I still can’t officially talk about the project, but believe me, you probably won’t be nearly as excited as I am. Or maybe you will! If that’s so, then I really like you. Anywho, yesterday was my first day of working on the project and the day went perfectly. I made pretty much the most adorbs street tacos of all time.
You guys, guess what? My little Jackson dog is kind of sick. Now don’t you freak out, he’s ok, but the poor guy has an upset stomach. So get this: the morning of my flight to Pittsburgh, I was awaken by Jackson vomitting. Not the greatest thing to wake up to, but things happen, vomit happens. So I didn’t think much of it, cleaned it up then curled up with him on the couch. Soon after, he started barking to go outside. His dad took him out and Jackson ran outside in a panic. Nobody wants to crap their pants inside in front of their humans. No one. This poor kid was in so much pain, I actually heard him scream from inside my apartment. Bloody murder scream. I will never get that sound out of my head, it was the most heartbreaking sound ever. So I headed off to Pittsburgh like a terrible dog mother while my boyfriend took him to the vet to get some x-rays. Turns out nothing was wrong with him. He just has a “sensitive butt”. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing he can’t eat apple since that was the only different thing he ate the day before. Poor guy. Look at him all curled up with his dad.
OMG dead from cuteness.
Are you upset that I talked about dog butts? Whatever. I saw way worse things talked about on instagram yesterday about human butts. Gross. Human butts are gross and should never be mentioned via instagram. Ever.
Yesterday I had a guy comment about how annoying I am. And white trash. I think he may be right. But he also did use the word “what’re” which isn’t actually a proper contraction. Shame. He could have really proved his manhood with such a rude comment if he had used proper grammar. The poor, dumb bastard.
Ooey Gooey Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bars
- Yield: 16 1x
Ingredients
- 3/4 cup pumpkin puree
- 1/2 cup butter or ghee or coconut oil, melted + extra for greasing dish
- 1 egg, whisked
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup almond flour
- 1/4 cup tapioca flour
- 1 cup coconut sugar
- 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
- 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Grease an 8×8 glass baking dish with ghee, coconut oil or butter.
- Mix all ingredient together in a large bowl until well combined.
- Pour mixture into baking dish.
- Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
- Let cool for 10 minutes before cutting and serving.
Notes
Makes 16 squares
_______________
You May Also Like:
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cups
Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Chip Energy Balls
______________
Click Here To Get All My PaleOMG Recipes Into Your Meal Planner With Real Plans!
I may be compensated through my affiliate links in this post, but all opinions are my own. This compensation helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running!
These are ridiculously good! I made a batch yesterday and they are pretty much gone. My roommates and I loved them. I might make another batch today with less sugar and the enjoy life chips. I’ve never baked with almond & tapioca flour and coconut sugar before and I’m so excited to try other recipes with these ingredients. Love your website, recipes and your fashion fridays! Thank you Juli! 🙂
So easy and so freaking good. Like, too good. In an attempt to stop myself from eating them all in one day, I sliced them into little bars and stuck them in the freezer. Unfortunately, my plan backfired: they taste even better frozen (and that’s saying something!).
FYI: they taste great when dunked in espresso, too! I whisked some of the leftover pumpkin with pumpkin spice and almond milk to create a makeshift, syrup-free pumpkin spice latte
OMG I love you. These are SOOOOO good. I was nervous about 1 TBSP of pumpkin pie spice, so I used 1 TSP and these are SOOOOO good. I can’t wait for my husband to try them. Paleo goodies aren’t usually his favorite due to the texture but these are SPOT ON.
I subbed arrowroot flour 1:1 for the tapioca because I didn’t have tapioca, and made a swirl of 2 72% chocolate bars (approx. 3.3 oz) and 1 T butter because I didn’t have chips. They became ooey gooey pumpkin chocolate swirl bars, and…paleOMG! Plus, they looked really cool with the swirl.
Woah. Mind blown. I just made this recipe and me and my husband have found another keeper to add to the treat list. Uhhh, yum. This lives up to the name and is gooey perfection!
Where can I get coconut sugar – if I cant find it what else can I use?
maple sugar or regular cane sugar
This looked so delicious AND easy that I had to make it for Thaksgiving dessert. I was going to make pumpkin carrot muffins but the recipe (from another website) looked involved, and it didn’t involve chocolate. I knew you would come through and you did! I will rate later after everyone has raved about what a great cook I am ☺️, but it will be 5 stars because I had a couple spoonfuls of the batter. It was so good I almost wondered why bother cooking it, except my guests might be a little disturbed. So the finished product is sitting on the counter taunting me now!
On another note, your comment about the “white trash” troll was so amusing, I read it aloud to my husband and forgot what else I was supposed to be doing. Hope Jackson is well now, and Happy Thanksgiving!
Yum!! Five stars only because you don’t have 10 as a choice!
Could I use flax meal instead of almond flour or at least sub half? I am nursing my 6 week old baby boy and flax is great for milk supply…gotta sneak it in anywhere I can!
haven’t tried using that
I absolutely love this recipe! I pretty much make it on every occasion I can convince myself it’s appropriate. Today I wanted to make a spring version so I used raspberry puree instead of pumpkin puree and omitted the pumpkin pie spice — came out delicious and such a cool color!!! Highly recommend!