I’m finally back in my groove at CrossFit, feeling strong again after traveling and can breathe at the miserable altitude. Luckily, I travel again this Sunday so in a few weeks, I’ll be back to being miserable at CrossFit once again! Fabulous, just fabulous. It’s crazy how fast you lose strength and endurance when you’re not doing it regularly.
I want to talk a little about something. My body has been changing recently and I’m not totally sure why. My metabolism seriously changes month to month and I never really know what I’m doing differently. My eating patterns don’t change that much, my workout schedule is always different depending how I feel, but my body is always changing.
The only thing I’ve really taken on this year is my new motto “f*ck it”. Now before you go getting all pissed at me and leaving comments about how my language is offensive, hear me out (or just stop reading). I used to worry about everything in my life before. I worried about my diet, I worried about my workouts, I constantly worried about my physique, I worried about every little thing, especially when I couldn’t control some of those things. I put myself in such a constant state of stress, I was never able to be happy. It took over my mind, my conversations and truly my life. I was unhappy. And since being constantly worried and stressed about all those things wasn’t fixing them, I just woke up one day and said “f*ck it”. Screw worrying about my diet, screw obsessing about how many workouts I do, screw staring at myself in the mirror and looking at all my imperfections. F*ck it. I was finally fed up with it. 25 years of my life were spent worrying about everything and I was honestly exhausted. And instantly, I was happier. The less I obsessed with what I was eating and just ate what I felt like in the moment (minus gluten because that doesn’t really work for me), the more my eating habits regulated. The less I worried about taking rest days, the better my body felt. And the less time I spent staring at my imperfections in the mirror, the more I learned how enjoyable life could actually be. And before I knew it, I actually lost some weight.
How much weight, I can’t be sure. I try not to get on the scale much because it doesn’t really mean much. But when I was competing in CrossFit, I wasn’t happy with my how I felt in my skin. I would look in the mirror and I just didn’t feel like I recognized myself. Now I feel like I finally do. Even though I know my body will change once again in a year like it’s done every single year since I was born, I finally know that obsessing gets me nowhere.
Have any of you gone through something similar or are trying to find that balance? Leave a comment below with your own story of personal growth!
Sunday – Group open gym workout! That means we made up our own workout.
20 minute AMRAP:
50/42 calorie row
40 KB Swings (70/55)- I used 45#
30 burpees
20 power cleans (135,95)- I used 85#
10 front squats (same weight)
5 muscle ups or 15 C2B pull ups (I did C2B pull ups)
100 double unders
I finished with 1 round at 16 kettlebell swings
Monday –
2 x Hang Squat Clean + Push Jerk + Split Jerk. Adding. (12 mins) – I think I got to 125#?
Back Squat: 4 x 5. Adding. (12 mins) – I got to 155#
7 min AMRAP OF: (3,6,9,12…)
Power Cleans (185/125) – I used 105#
Burpees Over Bar
I got to 15? I think. Sh*t I suck at this.
Tuesday –
Bent Over Row: 5 x 5. Adding. 1 sec pause on floor after each rep. (12 mins) – I got to 115#
then
15-12-9-6-3 Reps For Time Of:
Strict handstand push ups (I did mine to 1 ab mat)
Strict Pull Ups
I finished in 8:52
then
5 min AMRAP OF:
15 KB Swings (70/55)
30 Double Unders
I got 4 rounds + 26 reps
Wednesday – Rest day. Luckily it was a rest day since I decided to be an idiot and cut my thumb open, in turn spending 3 hours in urgent care getting it stitched up. Lovely.
Thursday – Another rest day because I was being super big baby about getting a tetanus shot and it hurting like a b*tch in my shoulder. It’s seriously still sore almost a week later. Stupid.
Friday –
2 x Hang Power Cleans + 1 x Push Jerk. 12 mins for a heavy set. – I got to 135#
For Time:
750/700m Row
then 2 rounds:
20 Push Jerks (155/105) – I used 85#
20 Alt Pistols – I held a 10# plate while doing pistols to help keep my heel down
then
400m Run
30 Wall Ball
I finished in 13:27
Saturday –
5 Rounds For Time Of:
7 Power Snatch (165/105) – I used 85#
15 Pull Ups
200m Run
10 Burpees
1 min rest between rounds
I finished in 20:46
Couldn’t agree more. Also loved the thing you posted the other day on Instagram about how the number of f*cks you give changes as we get older 🙂
Another great post.
I’ve been following you for almost 2 years and it has been inspiring and motivating to see your mental and physical transformation. You rock this blog and have made it your own, and always manage to stay true to you as you’re evolving. To me, that has made it more enjoyable and personal… (clothes posts and all!). Thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do! I hope to soon have a personal transformation story to share!
P.s. Your 5-ingredient Pizza Spaghetti Squash dish (I can’t remember the name), is my favorite go to!
I just started researching the “Eat To Perform” mentality and theories of fueling your body for workouts. Have you looked in to their theories and methodologies? Sounds like your physique “success” may have come from intuitively implementing some of their core tenets.
LOVED this post! Thanks so much for sharing. 🙂 Like others, I have recently developed the “f**k it” attitude as well. I did a few CrossFit competitions back in the spring and was all amped up to go hard and make gains, but that’s not me. I was trying too much and always comparing myself to others in the gym. In the last month or so, I’ve cut back and just ENJOYED working out. I did get a little off track with eating in the “f**k it” attitude due to other life happenings, so I am on a Whole30 right now to reset. At the end of the day, I do me and that’s what matters!
this is so interesting to me. Ive been talking to Hayley a bit on instagram as we both seem to actually GAIN when we work out, I am battling two autoimmune diseases plus lyme and apparently my body cant take extraneous stress. I adopted a paleo diet about 4 years ago and was super strict about it: pretty much all meat and veg very little fruit, etc. This past summer, i incorporated ice cream into my diet (the full fat in all its glory kind) on a daily basis, added in potatoes and white rice and stuck to only walking and yoga (as opposed to my loves: flywheel and bootcamp type classes) and the weight fell off. i hope one day to tolerate at least a spin class here or there (curious if that will ever happen), but its been a fascinating and infuriating journey that is for sure. When I slipped on jeans I couldnt put on in years (the last time I wore them was around when I was married and exercising furiously every day for hours) pretty much by eating ice cream and NOT moving too much, my mind was blown. Here’s to healthy balances and not giving a f%^k!!!
I always find that when I limit myself the things that I really want to eat I CRAVE IT SO MUCH MORE. When I don’t stress so much about it then I don’t crave all the horrible things. This post is very relatable. Thanks for keeping it real and honest.
I really like the white tank? Where did you get it from?
Just a comment to let you know that you look fabulous in both of the pictures above. Stay strong, stay positive, stay true to you – inside and out.
I feel like I can totally relate to you because I have never been chubby or anything like that, but I am so self conscious of my legs….those thunder thighs man, they are the worst. So I love looking at your pics because you seriously look awesome. And it gives me hope that if I can find my healthy balance, that I can slim down to that and beat these super fun genetics that I have. Thanks for being awesome.
I totally agree Juli, f*ck it. I have spent too many years obsessing over food, exercise, and body image. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to slowly start letting this go. Which is odd, because I’m dealing with a lot of health issues that don’t allow me to work out much at all – I’m definitely a little fluffier than I have been before. But all that being said I’m happier with my body now than I was when I was a competitive athlete! Much love, you rock
Julie, I just wanted to say thank you. About a year ago I made my transition to Paleo and you were a HUGE support and resource for me through this part of my journey. You do such amazing work and inspire so many people.
Quick question for you: what do the split values on some of your exercises mean? For example Power Snatch (165/105).
Thank you so much and keep doing amazing things.
That means the prescribed weight is 165# for guys and 105# for ladies. That’s why I say I said 85# after it, just letting people know what I used instead of that weight. Thanks so much for the sweet comment, so glad I’ve been able to help you out in some way!