I’m finally back in my groove at CrossFit, feeling strong again after traveling and can breathe at the miserable altitude. Luckily, I travel again this Sunday so in a few weeks, I’ll be back to being miserable at CrossFit once again! Fabulous, just fabulous. It’s crazy how fast you lose strength and endurance when you’re not doing it regularly.
I want to talk a little about something. My body has been changing recently and I’m not totally sure why. My metabolism seriously changes month to month and I never really know what I’m doing differently. My eating patterns don’t change that much, my workout schedule is always different depending how I feel, but my body is always changing.
The only thing I’ve really taken on this year is my new motto “f*ck it”. Now before you go getting all pissed at me and leaving comments about how my language is offensive, hear me out (or just stop reading). I used to worry about everything in my life before. I worried about my diet, I worried about my workouts, I constantly worried about my physique, I worried about every little thing, especially when I couldn’t control some of those things. I put myself in such a constant state of stress, I was never able to be happy. It took over my mind, my conversations and truly my life. I was unhappy. And since being constantly worried and stressed about all those things wasn’t fixing them, I just woke up one day and said “f*ck it”. Screw worrying about my diet, screw obsessing about how many workouts I do, screw staring at myself in the mirror and looking at all my imperfections. F*ck it. I was finally fed up with it. 25 years of my life were spent worrying about everything and I was honestly exhausted. And instantly, I was happier. The less I obsessed with what I was eating and just ate what I felt like in the moment (minus gluten because that doesn’t really work for me), the more my eating habits regulated. The less I worried about taking rest days, the better my body felt. And the less time I spent staring at my imperfections in the mirror, the more I learned how enjoyable life could actually be. And before I knew it, I actually lost some weight.
How much weight, I can’t be sure. I try not to get on the scale much because it doesn’t really mean much. But when I was competing in CrossFit, I wasn’t happy with my how I felt in my skin. I would look in the mirror and I just didn’t feel like I recognized myself. Now I feel like I finally do. Even though I know my body will change once again in a year like it’s done every single year since I was born, I finally know that obsessing gets me nowhere.
Have any of you gone through something similar or are trying to find that balance? Leave a comment below with your own story of personal growth!
Sunday – Group open gym workout! That means we made up our own workout.
20 minute AMRAP:
50/42 calorie row
40 KB Swings (70/55)- I used 45#
30 burpees
20 power cleans (135,95)- I used 85#
10 front squats (same weight)
5 muscle ups or 15 C2B pull ups (I did C2B pull ups)
100 double unders
I finished with 1 round at 16 kettlebell swings
Monday –
2 x Hang Squat Clean + Push Jerk + Split Jerk. Adding. (12 mins) – I think I got to 125#?
Back Squat: 4 x 5. Adding. (12 mins) – I got to 155#
7 min AMRAP OF: (3,6,9,12…)
Power Cleans (185/125) – I used 105#
Burpees Over Bar
I got to 15? I think. Sh*t I suck at this.
Tuesday –
Bent Over Row: 5 x 5. Adding. 1 sec pause on floor after each rep. (12 mins) – I got to 115#
then
15-12-9-6-3 Reps For Time Of:
Strict handstand push ups (I did mine to 1 ab mat)
Strict Pull Ups
I finished in 8:52
then
5 min AMRAP OF:
15 KB Swings (70/55)
30 Double Unders
I got 4 rounds + 26 reps
Wednesday – Rest day. Luckily it was a rest day since I decided to be an idiot and cut my thumb open, in turn spending 3 hours in urgent care getting it stitched up. Lovely.
Thursday – Another rest day because I was being super big baby about getting a tetanus shot and it hurting like a b*tch in my shoulder. It’s seriously still sore almost a week later. Stupid.
Friday –
2 x Hang Power Cleans + 1 x Push Jerk. 12 mins for a heavy set. – I got to 135#
For Time:
750/700m Row
then 2 rounds:
20 Push Jerks (155/105) – I used 85#
20 Alt Pistols – I held a 10# plate while doing pistols to help keep my heel down
then
400m Run
30 Wall Ball
I finished in 13:27
Saturday –
5 Rounds For Time Of:
7 Power Snatch (165/105) – I used 85#
15 Pull Ups
200m Run
10 Burpees
1 min rest between rounds
I finished in 20:46
I wish so badly that I could get into the f**k it mentality!! I was diagnosed with PCOS about 6 years ago and was able to eventually lose the weight I had gained and was in the best shape of my life!! Then about a year ago my body decided to flip a switch one day and it’s been all down hill from there. I didn’t change my diet or exercise routine, granted I moved to CO, but it was like my metabolism completely changed. It was like my body woke up one day and decided to say f**k you!! I’ve been put on metformin to help with weight loss and haven’t seen a thing. I saw a nutritionist and went no dairy and no gluten for 5 weeks, nothing. I most recently started a boot camp class about 6 weeks ago and am patiently waiting weight loss results from that as well. I know my constant stressing over my body image has a lot to do with it, still trying to find the strength to say f**k it!! Any PCOS weight loss success stories would be greatly appreciated 🙂
I haven’t gone Paleo but I have been wanting to get your book!
This post was right up my alley. You know when you get into those “CrossFit funks”, workouts aren’t going the way you’d like, body composition isn’t where you’d like it to be, just feeling burnt out. I’ve been guilty of stressing over workouts and diet for a long time and it’s just wrecks you mentally. This post was just some reassurance that I need to just let go. It’s ok if you don’t hit certain numbers during WODs or journal your food intake. Time to get back to just having fun.
Been a big fan of this blog every since making the paleo switch a couple years ago. Keep telling it like it is Juli.
All the best,
Tyler
Juli, I had been thinking how amazingly lean you are looking! You always look beautiful! I’m in on the f*ck it. I was just thinking today how obsessing about macros, O-3 to O-6, “clean” food, yadda yadda yadda was not doing me any favors. Then I see this! You rock, girl. You are such an asset to this community. Keep on keeping it real. The Paleo community needs more Juli’s! 🙂
I am so happy to see this! I am 53 years old and have been obsessed with my diet. Recently I decided to stop it! I weigh just as much as I used to when I was eating all of the unhealthy things! For the past few years, I have been eating more veges (they are not my favorite!) and meat, less dairy, gluten, than I EVER have, and nothing has changed. Menopause probably hasn’t helped either. What’s the point???
It has been tough not to slip back into the diet mindset because we are bombarded everywhere with diet plans, etc! I have to stop myself from thinking, maybe I should try this. You are an inspiration! You look fabulous! I will stick to the f*it way and be much happier… Thank You!
I don’t personally have a story like this, but it’s funny to see this happen to more than one person. Someone else I have become familiar with is Karina Baymiller, a bodybuilding.com sponsored athlete. She has gone through THE SAME EXACT thing as you with regards to attitude. She went from slightly overweight and realizing she needed a change, as far down as actually competing in some physique shows (which as you know, you need to be pretty lean). After about 2 years of this, she got disgusted with feeling anxious about her diet, never wanting to stray from it, and if she did it worried her for days, etc etc. Finally, she said “f*ck it” as well, threw out the diet journal, started eating whatever she wanted, gained a little weight back, and started lifting for powerlifting instead of physique. She is MUCH happier in her skin as well.
Sorry it wasn’t personal, but I thought you would relate 🙂 here is the link to her story
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/skinny-to-strong-karina-baymillers-complete-fitness-journey.html
Keep up the good work!
#1, your post about switching muffin top popularity with jean shorts is freakin’ hilarious! I look forward to your email every Friday because I know it’s going to make me laugh!
#2, you are lucky that at the very young age of 25, you’ve figured out the best attitude to have about your being. I did the exact thing you talk about until probably age 30, when I fell in love and found someone who loved me for who I was and for what I could potentially be (athletically). I never had the confidence to be athletic. I always worked out (mainly running) to try and lose weight, I practically starved myself in high school, and I was always concerned about what other people thought of me to the point where it paralyzed me from being the adventurous person I wanted to be. I always thought, if I can’t be the best, why do it at all? Thank God I’m no longer that way. I don’t care about what other people think (as much) and I embrace all kinds of exercise (mtn biking, cross fit, running, hiking) because it feeds my body and soul. Now I’m a confident in my own skin and I hope to teach that confidence to my own kids. I hope through your post you are teaching other women to love themselves and that strong thighs are sexy!!!
Doh, I loved this! Shoot! LOVE! arrrrr. Okay, I am finally in that boat where I am stressing less about eating and my body. Who the eff, cares? No one. I used to think I had to look a certain way to be successful. Um, no, not really. Thanks for sharing. So happy my friend recommended your blog. It’s refreshing! I needed to read this to get away from all the bad blogs out there. Well, not bad, but lackluster.
You dont know how much I needed to read this today! I am in a constant state of stress over my next workout and my next meal. I get into a good workout routine then get sick and have a setback in the gym, all the while feeling guilty that I feel too sick to workout. The more I stress over what I eat, the fatter I get and dont even recognize myself anymore. Statistically I am not overweight, but I dont feel comfortable in my own skin anymore and have been toying with the “F it” approach. Thanks for sharing and being such an inspiration Juli!
Love you posting about “f**k it”. I feel like that attitude in the way you were talking about it is perfect. I am grad school right now and everything else in life is getting that attitude. Haha. But, I am still trying to do okay with cross fit and my diet. But, unfortunately that isn’t working too well. I wish I could be more like you 🙂
Amazing and a huge congrats!!!