Weekly Workouts

Like my ball hugging picture? Haha, ball hugger.

You may have noticed last week I decided to not post anything new. I had to take a break from it all. And in all honesty, I need to work on my newest cookbook. That thing ain’t gonna write itself. But back to my first point, sometimes you need to take a step back from the internet. There are trolls, gremlins and just straight up unhappy people on that thing. And those creatures can really drag ya down if you hear them too much. Last week, I heard one too many of them so I decided to take a step back, eat food in privacy and spend hours typing up recipes for the cookbook instead.

You see, I had somewhat of an incident occur the other day, last Saturday night. I took part in a Friendsgiving. Not just any Friendsgiving, a Friendsgiving filled with around 40 people, 5 dogs and children. Oh yeah, and a donkey piñata. We also dressed up for this Friendsgiving. There were pilgrims, Indians, turkeys, a sombrero, a baseball player and yes, a piñata. Similar to what I did in elementary school years and years ago. That night, I took a really terrible picture in a dark lit room of a plate filled with beige (yet delicious) Thanksgiving food along with a very dim picture of the 40 people sitting at the table together. Seriously, the picture was really bad. Before I knew it, I had people up my ass about this picture. They called me a racist, a bad person, they said they were unfollowing me, they sent me links to websites about genocide and I was even asked to publicly apologize. I actually had to take the picture down because there was such hair-ripping-out conversations going on.

But here’s the thing, I wore a turkey hat. I wasn’t a pilgrim, I wasn’t an Indian, I wasn’t a piñata. I was a turkey. And just FYI, I looked reaaaaally good in this turkey hat. Turkeys just make me feel sexy. Can’t apologize for that business. And I paid a good $13 for that hat, so I will be wearing it again some day. Maybe for a Fashion Friday. Wanna see?

Dayuuuuuum. Just my color. And the most comfortable hat I’ve ever worn. For reals. There were also turkeys in this group. Look at these wild ones.

But since people seemed offended even though I was just a turkey, I’m going to apologize right now: To all the turkeys out there – organic, natural, kosher, free range, deep fried, thinly sliced, buttered, honey roasted, smoked, not-organic, hormone-added, and any other kind of turkey hopping around out there –I’m sorry for any offense that was taken. My intention was not to offend, just to have fun. Have fun being a turkey, have fun hanging out with my wonderful friends, and have fun stuffing my face with the heaviest food possible. And alcohol. And I succeeded.

Now that all of that stuff is settled, let’s back to some regularity here on PaleOMG. I mean, paleo makes you regular so PaleOMG should be regular too. Ok, back to reality. Life is going as usual here in Colorado since I haven’t been traveling. I’ve been working out regularly, eating normally and working away. The only thing that I’ve noticed a change in since I did my last, terrible competition, is that I don’t feel like trying quite as hard at the gym. I think I’m just going through a slump because I just hated that day so much, but I’m still trying to workout regularly while just staying lighter in my weights. I find workouts more enjoyable when the weights are lighter. That way I finish the workout quicker. Meaning I’m happier. So let’s check out some of the light weight I’ve been using lately.

Sunday – Rest day b*tches!

Monday – If you want your legs to be painful to the touch for at least 4 days after the workout, this is the perfect workout for you! I want so effing sore. The kind of sore that makes you feel like you have restless leg syndrome even though you’re not exactly sure what that is. At one point, I couldn’t sleep because of how sore I was. But man will my legs look better next swimsuit season. *finger crossed*

Back Squats: 3 reps every 90 sec for 7 sets. All sets at 80% – I used 135#

Strict HSPU: 30 sec work / 30 sec rest for 5 sets.  (total reps) – I used an ab mat with a 5# plate underneath and got 47 reps total

2 x 4 min AMRAP Of: (2 min rest in between)

15 Jumping Squats (20/14# med ball. Hold with a bear hug)

12 hand release push ups

15 KB Swings (70/55) – I used 45#

I got 5 round + 21 reps 

Tuesday – I LOVED this workout. It was fun trying to beat my first time during the second part of the workout. I probably should have gone heavier but then I wouldn’t have finished as quickly and I wouldn’t have been as happy! Positive reinforcement, duh. Speaking of positive reinforcement, I may have gotten frozen yogurt with the boyfriend after this workout. Because I needed it while watching The Mindy Project. And because sugar is best consumed after a workout. Yeah, that was totally my intention.

Every minute on the minute for 12: 1 Power Clean into 1 Split Jerk –

min 0-2 @ 70%

min 3-5 @ 80%

min 6-8 @ 85%

min 9-12 @ 90% – I finished with 115#

For Total Time:

12-9-6-3 reps of:

Power Cleans (165/115) – I used 85#

Burpee Box Jumps (24/20)

REST 3 mins THEN

3-6-9-12 reps of:

Push Jerks (165/115)
 – I used 85#

Burpee Box Jumps (24/20)

I finished in 12:22 

Wednesday – I really hated this workout until the next morning when I found out my rest day was on a day that included thrusters. Then this workout became wonderful. A long time ago, I hyperextended my elbow while doing a heavy 5 rep max of overhead squats. It’s never been the same since then. It rotates back and I look double jointed. Not a good look. So this workout was mostly challenging because it was pretty painful. Stupid elbow.

Find a challenging combo of: Snatch Deadlift into Hang Power Snatch into Hang Snatch into OH Squat. ( 12 mins) – I got to 100#

For Time:

1000m / 900m Row

30 overhead squats (115/75)

150 Double Unders ( no more than 3 mins worth)

30 overhead squats (115/75)

800M Run

I finished in 17:10 Rx

Thursday – Rest day pumpkin!

Friday – Loved this workout! Who doesn’t love sore abs?

Strict Press: 2-2-2 Adding – I got to 95#

Push Press: 2-2-2 Adding – I got to 115#

(12 mins)

5 Rounds For Total Time Of:

200m Sprint

6 Strict handstand push ups

9 Power Snatch (135/95) – I used 75#

12 Toes To Bar

REST 1 min between rounds.

I finished in 20:09

Saturday – I went light in this workout and so happy I did. For me, I get way more sore when I stay light with weight, especially deadlifts. Light deadlifts makes me 10x more sore than heavy ones. And personally, I like being sore. Then I feel like this whole workout thing is worth my time.

800 m run

5 rounds:

15 deadlift (225,155) – I used 115#

15 hand release push ups

800 m run

I finished in 16:22