Bodies are weird. They’re weird AF. You can change your body fat, your muscle mass, your shape…all by altering a few things about your lifestyle. But then your body will decide to take on a life of it’s own, whether that’s through hormones or pregnancy or stress or menopause or age. For some, bodies change minimally throughout their life. For me, it’s changed a lot. And I’m at a point in my life where I’m able to look back and really marvel at each stage and understand the science experiment that I’ve been putting myself through for years now.
A handful of people have asked for before and after photos. But for me, I have beforeandafter beforeandafter beforeandafter photos that range all throughout my life. That starts before puberty then to starving and binging in my teen years to overeating sh*t food in college then to dabbling in exercise and being afraid of the gym then onto my CrossFit years that have yo-yo’d but never ended. So let’s take a glance down physical memory lane because I think it’s interesting as f*ck and honestly motivating for me to continue on my path and see what will happen in the future.
This photo above spans over 7 years, starting in 2009 on the left, 2010, 2012 then 3 weeks ago in 2016 on the right. My body weight has ranged from 150 pounds then to 125 pounds then up to 160 pounds and now I’m probably around 130 pounds (I only weigh myself once a year at the doctor to make sure I don’t mind f*ck myself).
The photo on the left is definitely at my unhealthiest. I was in college at the time, eating and drinking anything that was handed to me, not caring or knowing what “healthy” meant. Even though I was in Health and Exercise Science in school and knew a general amount of what was good for me, I was still in the high school mindset believing I could eat whatever I wanted and just burn the calories off to stay “skinny”. So at this point I was spending HOURS in the gym on the stairmaster, running for hours on the treadmill and doing some light lifting (but feeling very intimidated by the men in the weight room). I ran my first (and only) half marathon that year and I think that’s what got me started with understanding that dedication leads to something. I started off hardly able to run a mile and slowly increased my distance every day, ran through the winter months, until I was ready for a half marathon. And ended up finishing in under 2 hours, which I was super happy about.
Shortly after running that half marathon, I began to challenge myself to lift more and long story short, found out about CrossFit. I couldn’t do any of the movements because I wasn’t strong enough so I would look at CrossFit workouts on crossfit.com and modify them however I could. Push ups on my knees, pull ups and dips on the assisted machine, kettlebell swings with a dumbbell. Before I knew it, I was seeing strides in my own fitness with being able to do those movements unassisted. At that point, I decided to make the jump to a real CrossFit gym, doing my first competition 3 months later. When I was seeing all these improvements, I wanted more and had to face the facts that my diet was sh*t. Since CrossFit recommended paleo and/or Zone, I decided to try out Zone first then slowly worked my way into paleo. In the second photo, I was eating almost strict paleo (Monday – Friday) but still had some gluten free oats and peanut butter, but absolutely no gluten. When I dropped eating bread and pasta and anything gluten related, not only did I drop weight pretty quickly, but all the stomach issues I had growing up INSTANTLY went away. But even though I had changed my diet so drastically, I still ate sh*tty food on the weekends as my “cheat” days. I would eat nasty ass food like Oreos and pizza and chips and queso. And I would ruin all the strides I had made in the week and was back to feeling sick and awful by Monday. It was a really bad relationship with food at that point, which is why I never use the word cheat anymore when it comes to anything I eat. I was at my thinnest I had ever been but I wanted WAY more muscle and wanted a better relationship with food.
Once I started competing in CrossFit, I was hooked. I loved the nerves, loved the calm feeling before the 3,2,1GO, loved the cheering and camaraderie and the support for women lifting. I had finally found fitness that made sense to me. I didn’t want to run endless hours or count calories to make sure I burned them all off on a bike. I finally found a gym with no mirrors, no judgement, and no bullsh*t. CrossFit was the first place that empowered women because of what they were accomplishing in the gym and I had never felt that before. And I wanted to be part of that. So I started working out every day, rarely taking rest days and constantly increasing my weight load day to day. Every single day in the gym was me giving every single ounce of effort I had all in hopes of making it to CrossFit Games. And the more I worked out, the more results on saw; placing higher and higher at competitions. The third photo, in my white PaleOMG shirt, was actually taken at a competition that I won. I was so excited about my accomplishments, but I was absolutely 100% unhappy in my skin. I continued to gain weight, some muscle and some fat, and my hormonal acne because of lifting was out of f*cking control. I was so unhappy and really stuck with what to do: continue to compete and be unhappy, or end competing and see what happens. So I took the latter and started lifting lighter, taking more rest days, eating more of what I wanted (except for gluten) and being less stressed out.
What’s interesting about these photos is the second, third and fourth photo are all while eating paleo and all while doing CrossFit. The only thing that was different was my priorities and goals. I wanted to lift weights, I did it. I wanted to get better at CrossFit, I did it. I wanted to lose weight and be more comfortable in my skin, I did it. None of these stages came easy. They took blood, sweat and tears and seriously years to reach. It wasn’t a day change, it wasn’t a 30 day cleanse; it was figuring out what I wanted, learning what worked for my body, and constantly experimenting. And I’ll still be doing that for many years to come as my body changes and my priorities change. My point is, remember the big picture. Health and fitness is about the journey. It’s not about the perfect butt or perfect abs or perfect arms. It’s about always striving to be the best YOU. And what’s so awesome about it is that you can strive forever, until the day you die, to be a better version of yourself. Both mentally and physically. So stop obsessing over the little details and just start trying to be better and better, no matter what that better version is.
“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.”
Sunday – Rest day
Monday –
18 mins to get 5 Rounds Of:
9 L- Pull Ups
9 Strict HSPU
14 KB Walking Lunges (2 x 70/2 x 45). Heavier than usual!!!
I got 4+3 using 45# kettlebells
Then 9 min Ladder Of: (3-6-9-12-15…)
Front Squats (185/125)
Burpees
I got 18+1 using 85#
Tuesday –
Every 30 sec for 10 mins: 1 x Snatch @ 70%. All reps must have a 3 sec pause at knee. (5-10# more than last time) – I used 90#
Then 16 min AMRAP Of:
500m Row
100 Double Unders
400m Run
I got 2 rounds + 225 meters into my third run
Wednesday –
Back Squats: 4 x 7. All sets at 74% (15 mins) – I used 125#
Then 12 min AMRAP Of:
9 Deadlift (225/155)
12 C2B Pull Ups
15 HRPU
I got 4+20 using 125#
Thursday – Rest day
Friday –
Deadlift: 4 x 7. All sets at 74%. Reset at bottom of all reps! (14 mins) – I used 165#
After each Set: 40 sec Top Of Dip Hold On Rings (in hollow)
Then 4min AMRAP Of:
5 Power Clean (225/155) and 15 Wall Ball
– 2min REST THEN –
4min AMRAP Of:
7 Power Clean (185/125) and 15 Wall Ball
– 2min REST THEN –
4min AMRAP Of:
9 Power Clean (155/105) and 15 Wall Ball
I got 3+6 (105#); 2+12 (95#); 2+9 (85#)
Saturday –
With a partner complete: (one person working at a time)
100 calorie row
100 lateral burpees over the bar
100 thruster (135/95)
100 toes to bar
100 lateral burpees over the bar
100 calorie row
We finished in 35:45 using 55#
___________________
At Home or Hotel Gym Workout:
5 rounds for time:
20 jumping lunges
15 pike push ups
10 v-ups
3 minutes rest
5 rounds for time:
20 tuck jumps
15 hand release push ups
10 leg lifts
The Perfect On Sale Gym Outfit:
Nike Bralette (2 colors – 20% off)
Nike Tank Top (4 colors – 30% off)
Zella Front Zip Jacket (33% off)
Onzie Black Leggings (5% off)
Nike 5.0 Free Running Shoes (6 colors – 50% off)
Loved this post!! Do you do any cardio outside of crossfit now?
no, i only do the workouts i share
just a small bit of info. to most people who have never worked out-they have no idea what your workout consists of . the terminology you used is foreign and might scare people off of trying to workout
when i first started crossfit, i never knew what the lingo was either so i constantly checked out youtube videos and googled information to find out what those movements were. if you don’t know what something is (like paleo, etc.) you figure it out if you want it badly enough. sure, it’s intimidating just like anything foreign, but i think that’s how life is in general. i’m sorry you feel like it might scare people off!
Hi Juli! I followed your blog bigtime around when your first cookbook came out. Then life hit the fan (in a good way), so I stopped being able to keep up with most of my favorite reads. I used to run half marathons, CrossFit, and generally eat more home cooked meals then. But then I changed jobs (moving more toward my ideal career) and was SO stressed that I rapidly lost 15 lbs (due to stress… I actually worked out LESS), had high anxiety, and was extremely exhausted by the end of the workday for at least a year. I stopped running nearly altogether, stopped going to CrossFit, and cooked way less because convenience seemed nicer when I was so tired. Now that I’m getting more used to my work, I think my stress has gone down as well as my anxiety, but when I get busy again (moreso during winter months I have several 14 hour work days during the week and lots of caffeine) my workout routine disappears. I’m really trying to start it all back up again, but even now if I have a tough day at work I want to do NOTHING when I come home. :/
I just jumped back onto your blog yesterday because I really wanted to make something for dinner that was healthy and was going to make me feel good. This is the first place I thought of! I am SO blown away by how much your blog has grown since your first cookbook was released back in the day!
Looking at the workouts, more recipes, entries on fashion, links for good and cute gym clothes, stories of struggles and success, I feel more motivated to really try to push harder to get myself back on track. I’m sitting at around 145 lbs (gained back about 10 lbs of the 15 i lost from stress), but my body doesn’t feel healthy. My work is very important to me, but I really want to find a balance so that I don’t let my health slide again. I want to get back into CrossFit SO MUCH but am unable to afford it right now. I’ve been trying to adapt the workouts from CrossFit.com and a box that I used to belong to. It’s been helping, but sometimes it can be a struggle to do them effectively at my gym. On the flipside, I’m getting back into running again and since the weather is nicer I’ve been able to hit the local running trails at least a couple times each week. My goal is to run at least 3-4 times per week (my minimum distance is 3 miles) and to train for another half marathon.
Thank you for helping me find motivation and inspiration in my own journey again! Best of luck with all you do!
Hi Julie!
You look amazing. I’ve been doing crossfit for approx a year and have gained some weight over the past few months. I think its mostly attributable to putting on muscle since I’ve never done so much strength work in my life.
I was wondering if you could do a post about what you eat on a typical day? I’m intrigued since you said you rarely eat nuts. I have them daily following a paleo life style.
Thank you for your help!!!
Hey andrea! I’ve shared many posts with what I eat in a day, here are a few!
https://paleomg.com/weekly-workouts-what-i-ate-in-a-day-11/
https://paleomg.com/weekly-workouts-what-i-ate-in-a-day-10/
https://paleomg.com/weekly-workouts-what-i-ate-in-a-day-9/
https://paleomg.com/weekly-workouts-what-i-ate-in-a-day-8/
Completely understand that you physically felt differently in each of these photos, but I think it’s worth saying that you’re equally beautiful in all of them!
I absolutely love this and needed to read this today! I’ve been on a weight loss journey for about two years and trying to figure out what the eff my body is doing. I do the weights, the cardio, the good diet and my body pretty much gives me the middle finger when it comes to fat loss. I’m 5’7″ and 150lbs, 20lbs unexplicably gained over two years. Basically this post just helped encourage me to keep going and keep improving whether it’s all physical or its emotional and feeling strong in my body whether or not it’s my idea of “perfect”
This needs to be talked about! Crossfit culture in general is intense and more reps, heavier weight is often pushed, which isn’t always good! I have had an eating disorder for 14 years and started crossfit 4 years ago at about 112 lbs (I am 5’8). I quickly realized my eating habits would not support any progress in crossfit. So although it definitely helped my actual eating (I quickly gained 15lbs) it did not help my feelings about my body or my relationship with food. Juli did you at any point seek out therapy? Just wondering what your thoughts were on how to get to that more balanced place. At this point I am 100% addicted to crossfit, I go 5-6 days a week and get so mad if I feel like the WOD’s aren’t strenuous enough. I love crossfit more than anything and don’t want this type of relationship with it anymore. Any thoughts? Thank you so much for this post!
i did not seek therapy, i just had to recognize my addictions and habits and break them myself. but it’s not a bad idea to seek therapy if you feel like you can’t break those addictive behaviors yourself. but recognizing that you’re feeling that way is the first step. for me, it was figuring out that overexercising wasn’t making me happy so i tried taking a step back to see what happened. i don’t know if that explanation helps but i hope it does. let me know if you have any other questions! hopefully i can help more!
Can’t wait to get your new book. This side by side of your pictures is helpful. Turning 41 and forgot how much I loved your blog. Congratulations on your marriage I always wondered how no one snatched you up. No pun intended! How much rice is your serving size?
i don’t really have a certain serving size for rice, i just eat however much satisfies me!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your honesty about your struggles and weight loss!! I started running (marathons) and would run more so I could eat more – totally unhealthy. I kept putting on weight.
6 weeks ago I started weight lifting and am trying to just listen to my body, rather than exercising more so I can eat more. It’s hard to make this physiological, as well as psychological change but I know it is just a process.
So far I haven’t lost any weight but I can tell that I am getting stronger and feeling tighter. I just need to be patient and give it time. I have faith everything will fall into place.
Did you find you stalled for awhile at first as your body reacted / realized that you were going to give it what it needed?
Thanks again 🙂
Tara
for sure. i didn’t see many changes for a while!
This post really hits home right now! I’ve been doing Crossfit 5x a week, always at the heavier prescribe day weights, and I eat clean/paleo, but just can’t seem to lose any weight! It’s been nearly a year of consistent workouts, but I’m not seeing the progress I want. I’ve gotten so much stronger and faster, physically I feel like the best shape of my life, but my body is still holding all of the fat over top of my muscle. Reading your posts confirms what I’m thinking, that it might be my diet. I’m always terrified to eat carbs, even “good” carbs like sweet potato or oats. I’ve started to work them in a bit, and some days I will have either a slice of whole grain toast for breakfast, or a half sweet potato with dinner. I try to never go over 50grams of carbs in a day, but I’m not sure if that is actually enough now that I’m lifting 5 days a week. I also think I might not be eating enough calories in general. Would love it if you could please write a post about what your macros usually look like! It would be so helpful to know how many carbs and fats you eat since we’re about the same activity level. You’re such a huge inspiration and give me hope that some day I’ll be able to lean out!
i honestly have zero clue about macros or how many carbs/fat i’m eating. zero. I’ve never counted macros so i don’t even know what that looks like. i just eat way more carbs than i used to and don’t beat myself up about it